Not Letting Go
by Hotaru Muraki
Summary: UPDATE-again! The seishi meet in present-day Tokyo? Well, at least some of them are about to. BG It's mainly Nakago 'talking' here. Tamahome appears, too. Rating for implied content. But don't fear! beams I'm working on it
1. Death is but a beginning

Disclaimer: They're mine. The sun rises in the North and ChibiUsa is a dream come true. (In other words: NO WAY!!) Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu-sensei and associates.

Warning: shounen ai (implied) – (Or is it just my imagination...??? ^^v)

Notes: I don't quite know what possessed me to write this. ......Okay, okay. I _do_ know what possessed me. *BEG* I just don't wanna admit it. For the curious: an explanation is at the end of this...fanfic.

Extra-Note: **Nakago-sama**** no tanjoubi omedettou!!!** *hearts*

**( N**** o t )   L e t t i n g   G o**

by Hotaru Muraki

_~ Death is but a beginning ~_

                                                 **N**        _ever giving up, relentless_

                                                 **A**        _lways__ focused, efficient_

                                                 **K**        _nowing__ what he's doing and why_

                                                 **A**        _s handsome as he's ruthless_

                                                 **G**_       reat skills in many areas, highly intelligent_****

                                                 **O**       _bviously__ a force to be reckoned with_

I can feel him thrusting his fist through me. Amidst all the wreckage, the burning machines and the whimpering Suzaku...twit cradling that gullible miko of mine – all I can see are his violet-grey eyes changing from an enraged purplish-blue to a more...sombre lavender hue. All I can hear is his "Why didn't you dodge...?". He seems puzzled, both of us knowing who would have won had the fight continued. Even with Seiryuu's powers sealed it would have been easy.

So, Tamahome, you are curious as to why I chose to remove myself from the living in just this spectacular way. Well... As my body starts to disappear, as I watch the unfolding scene from somewhere above, I answer. You can't hear me, of course, but that is fine with me. In fact, I prefer it that way. Being anything remotely sentimental or romantic is being weak. And I hate, I absolutely _despise_ being weak. There are enough pathetic fools as it is anyway. Just look at that emperor of yours, Saihitei—no, 'Hotohori' you called him. But I digress. I told you many of my reasons for doing what I do: gaining power – and holding it!, becoming a god to rule over all and, most of all, getting revenge. Revenge for what was done to me and to the Hin. And no, I am not nor ever will be sorry for what I did. Neither will I ever give up what is mine, Tamahome. I told you that repeatedly during your stay in Kutoh, didn't I?

But even someone like me is bound to get tired some time. You didn't think I was still that human, now did you? I can still see your surprised expression, shock playing over your striking features as my body dissolves around you. Are you shocked that it is all over now? ......Or are you shocked that I am...gone?

Just as I turn around to go, just as that...brainless loud-mouth of a miko runs towards you – I take a last glance at you. It is then that I see _it_. ....and it touches the place where my heart once was supposed to have been. Unnoticed by anyone save myself, one single tear slips down your cheek. This lone drop of liquid leaves a barely discernible trail of lightly tanned skin shining out of your sooty, dirt-covered face.

............Tamahome, you really _are_ caring for me...? Aren't you?

I can see Haku Kaen and...my mother?...already waiting for me. It is time to go. But not to let go. Never that. I turn towards them once more, then stop one last time as I think of something. I smirk. Ne, Tamahome, it's not as if we will never see each other again. So it is 'good-bye' just for the time being.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The invisible spectre of Nakago, first and most powerful among the Seishi of Seiryuu, disappears. Only a trail of blue motes of light slowly drifting downwards marks its passage, unnoticed by those left behind.

**Owari****...?**

Author: To be completely honest, I always thought I really unfair on the Seiryuu Seven. Only the Suzaku Seishi seem to be reborn. IMHO that's plain **wrong**! (Apart from the tiny detail that I absolutely adore Nakago-sama... ^^V) Soooo... *draws deep breath* Does anyone here think that is an oversight to be corrected? (This _could_ be turned into a prologue, no da!) Should anyone meet again in _this_ world? *winks* Or should I just shut my trap and crawl back under the rock I came from? ^.^


	2. sayonara: means :goodbye:?

Disclaimer: They're mine. God's in His heaven and all is right with the world. *sweatdrops* Sorry, wrong show. Anyway, _Fushigi__ Yuugi_ belongs to Watase Yuu-sensei and associates. I'm just playing around. *hides Nakago and Tamahome in her closet* *chaos ensues* Ooops... *sweatdrops* Baaaad idea. ^^;;

Warning: shounen ai (implied) – (And NO, it's not just my imagination. Or at least not mine alone! ^^v), torture (implied), NO rape!!! Some SPOILERS to the series, though.

Note 1: Well, since the 'prologue' went so well... I actually had the nerve (and the ideas!!) to continue. I'm quite curious how this fanfic will turn out. Suggestions are welcome. Flames will be dealt with. *points to Tasuki*

Note 2: It's my _own personal opinion_ that Nakago-dono, although enjoying some...resistance, would ultimately prefer more...willing partners. Agree? Disagree?? That's okay, too. I'd just like you to tell me why. Please...?

Note 3: Oh, and:   ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~   = flash-like change of scene (used in flashbacks ^^;;))

**( N**** o t )   L e t t i n g   G o**

by Hotaru Muraki

_~ Chapter One: 'Sayonara' means 'goodbye'? ~_

                                       **T**      _rustworthy_

                                       **A**      _lways__ loyal to his friends_

                                       **M**     _oney__-oriented martial artist_

                                       **A**      _ware of his abilities_

                                       **H**_      ardworking, honourable, handsome_****

                                       **O**_     blivious to some things, alert to others_

                                       **M**_     an in the form of a boy yet_

                                       **E**_      nergetic and enervating_

I can feel his flesh around my arm as I thrust my fist through his body. Finally! Finally, it's all over. Miaka, do you—No, my priestess of Suzaku, my beloved Miaka is still busy comforting her friend Yui. Although the ex-priestess of Seiryuu is hurt, my Miaka is injured, too. And yet she's always worried for anyone but herself, forever looking after others. I guess that is one of the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place.

When I turn back towards...that bastard, I find him watching me. All _he_ does is smirk – as usual. I wonder what's on his mind, though. But then again... Why should I care? It's no longer any concern of mine. Sure, he proclaimed his reasons for his actions. Maybe some of them might even be justified. But. But... There are some things that I _will not forgive_. Not even him! –Wait a moment. Where did _that_ come from? And why the hell should I want to forgive that...that..._Nakago_.

Our eyes meet. And as my gaze is pulled towards him, I find myself drowning, falling upwards into the sky. Suddenly, frighteningly, there is _something_ connecting the two of us to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. I am more _aware_ of him than I was before. It feels...strange and yet...familiar at the same time.

As his body begins to disappear, I start to see images. With a start, I realize that these must be his memories, snatches and snippets of his past. I instinctively feel, no, I _know_ that he doesn't want anyone's pity. In fact, he doesn't even need it. But... Why do _I_ of all people get to see this?

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

A small child stumbles along the side of his mother. Their threadbare clothes are foreign, design unknown in these lands. When the mother looks down at her child clinging to her hand, however, she is smiling. The little boy smiles back, the radiant brightness of his smile enhancing the sapphire-blue of his eyes and the gold of his hair. The obvious love and affection between these two people eradicates the shabbiness of their clothes, makes their poverty seem secondary. In short, they are happy.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

The same woman and the same boy, a few years older. They don't seem quite as carefree, as happy as before. Now they are wandering the streets, passing blue-tiled roofs and entrances. The doorways and windows are often occupied with black-haired, dark-eyed people. Some of them are sneering openly. Some of them are just pointing. All of them seem more or less hostile. Some small children even dare to throw stones at these passer-bys, their parents doing nothing to stop them.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Another small, shabby village, maybe a year or two later. The boy appears to be about seven or eight years old. Contrary to what might be expected, the continuous hardships have not diminished the boy. Even now, one can anticipate the handsome man this boy will become one day. However, all the natives of this country see is a beggar brat of some foreign woman. All _they_ see is someone different from them.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

The same village, early afternoon. Soldiers are milling around on the streets, chasing anyone looking to be of foreign origin. Here and there, bodies lie on the ground, unmoving. The little boy cowers behind a rainwater-barrel, not daring to move from where his mother hid him earlier. He is sorely tempted to bolt when he sees his mother running by. She had known there'd be trouble when that noisy troupe of soldiers had descended upon the small village. And still she foolishly had gone back to try and retrieve their meagre belongings before they might be caught. Part of a conversation they had had a few days ago replays itself in the little boys head. _"...Mama, why do they hate us so? Have we done something bad?" – "No, dear one. We have done nothing wrong. These people merely hate us because we are not like them. People always fear that which is different. They are afraid of that which they don't know or understand..."_

Then he does bolt when he sees some soldiers chasing and cornering his mother. The boy valiantly tries to defend his mother – but what can one rather skinny little boy accomplish against fully grown, trained men? And as the little boy is kicked back once again, having to watch two of them holding down his struggling mother, he suddenly feels his rage dissipate. Or, rather, his rage is fanned so greatly that he cannot tell whether it feels scorching or icy. And in the calm centre of this storm, Nakago-to-be feels the symbol blaze on his forehead for the first time. A blue haze descends upon him.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Charred bodies strewn haphazardly across the street, soldiers only recognizable by molten bits of metal clinging to bits of seared skin or burnt leather. The only being alive within a radius of about a hundred feet is a skinny, wide-eyed frightened boy of about seven years. He does not yet understand the looks of horror on the faces of those watching the scene. He does not yet know what has really transpired here. All _he_ knows is that his mother, maybe the only person to ever love him, is dead. And it is all his fault. Then the little boy knows no more. A scared-looking soldier has snuck up behind him, clobbering him with the hilt of his sword.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Nakago-to-be, with feet and hands bound, is thrown at the base of the Kutou-emperor's throne. When a brutal hand pulls him upwards again, the frightened boy sees, for the first time, the man who is responsible for and will be the cause of most of the pain in Nakago-to-be's life.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Returning from some minor skirmish, Nakago, feared shogun of the Kutou-army, finds a girl in strange clothes. She falls unconscious at his feet just as he motions for his soldiers to chase after and 'deal with' the thugs.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

A brown-haired, annoying girl tries to rescue her friend. The blond girl, Yui, however, decides to trap her. For some probably imagined, childish slight, the loud-mouthed brat has to suffer. And as she lies helpless in the palace's Temple of Seiryuu, about to receive the finishing blow, Nakago feels a great...force approaching. The Priestess of Suzaku is thrown back  but is caught by one of her seishi just before she hits the door. Then the door, sealed and locked is blown inwards. The Suzaku-seishi whom Nakago had met once already moved through the door. Even though the sanctuary is still sealed by Seiryuu's power, this Tamahome-guy forces his way inside. Symbol on his forehead blazing brightly, he pushes against Seiryuu's seal with all his strength. And to Nakago's grudgingly though silently given admiration, the boy succeeds. As blazing violet-grey eyes lock with cool sapphire ones, Nakago feels..._something_ for the first time in all too long a while.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

In exchange for the Kutou-armies not-advancing further onto Kounan-territory, Tamahome has agreed to be a hostage. Although the Priestess of Seiryuu thinks this is entirely her idea, it is actually due to Nakago's indirect influence, through carefully voiced suggestions that this has come to pass. And while Nakago does want to see that boy again, he does not want to admit it even to himself.

When he sees that boy, Tamahome, again Nakago feels...something. He does not yet know what it is, though. Even as Tamahome glares at him, violet-grey eyes scorching, Nakago realizes that he—

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Many nights spent alone, ignoring Tomo's silent astonishment as well as Soi's rather pointed sulking. Nakago is kept busy during the day but at night, resting alone in his cold, empty bed he—

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

His spies have told Nakago that the Priestess of Suzaku has fallen gravely ill in some remote village, might even be in danger of dying. When he tells the Priestess of Seiryuu about this, he makes sure that Tamahome is somewhere near enough to be able to 'accidentally' listen in on their conversation. Nakago distantly wonders what will be stronger in the young Suzaku-warrior: honouring his promise or following that foolish attachment to the Priestess of Suzaku. However, Nakago has made 'preparations' should the latter be the case.

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Tamahome actually tries to run off. Nakago is ready for that. Using his whip to stop the boy from leaving, Nakago coolly advises Tamahome of the heavy price hostages pay for attempting to flee. For once, Lady Yui does not object. She doesn't want to lose the boy either – but for altogether different reasons. However, _she_ does not witness what happens before or after the whipping...

                                                                              ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

I blink, abruptly drawn back to the present. Nakago's body has disappeared completely by now, but... The crackling flames illuminate the scene, highlighting the destruction around me. My senses are assaulted by sirens wailing in the background, burning rubber and other things I do not know of, but my mind is still lingering on what I saw. Taking all that happened into account, I think I might eventually if not forgive then at least come to terms with why......he did what he did. With time, I might even be able to understand. Nakago is a formidable warrior, ingenuous in battle, ruthless in the pursuit of his goals, highly skilled in many areas. No. He _was_. He is dead and gone now. And... He will be missed. Then Miaka is running towards me, shouting happily something I'm yet too far away to understand. And I... I think of all that has been, of all that has happened. Of all the people who have died. Of—

A single tear slips down my face, falling to the ground unnoticed just as Miaka runs the last few steps towards me, arms outstretched in a longing embrace. Finally. Sayonara. . .

**To be continued...**

Author's Notes: Well, that went rather better than I expected. The outlines for the next few chapters are planned at least. Whether the chappies will actually turn out the way I planned them – that's an altogether different story. __;; Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this.

Replies to reviews

@ Ish: Thank you. I love meeting other N/T-fans. *beg* And I definitely, definitely _will_ have them meeting up. *ties Tamahome up to stop him from running off* Although this could be a bit harder than I first imagined... *warily glances at Nakago-like shape hovering in the shadows, waiting*

@ otaku-no-miko: Thanks for the compliments. (I was mistaken for a traffic-light due to the blush I developed after reading this. ~__^) And thank you _very much_ for your offer. I might really take you up on it. Is it still valid if this is (probably!) mainly NxT...?

@ Reinassinnax: i'm glad u luv me fic. will definately write more. dunno understand yr comments though. could u explain some, pleaze?


	3. Mitsukareta!

Disclaimer: My lawyers regretfully told me that these characters *points to FY-charas all standing in a row* are not mine no matter how much I might wish otherwise. As _Fushigi__ Yuugi _belongs to Watase Yuu-sensei and associates, I guess they were actually right for once. ~__^;;

Warning: shounen ai (implied) – some SPOILERS to the series – possible OOCness (esp. for Tamahome's hair-colour. I can't decide on it! __)

Note 1: Wow! I actually managed to update. Wonders _do_ happen these days...

Note 2: I know where this will be going. Honest! I really do!! ^^V

Note 3: Oh, and:   ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~   = change of scene / POV

**( N**** o t )   L e t t i n g   G o**

by Hotaru Muraki

_~ Chapter Two: Mitsukareta! ~_

For once I am walking to work instead of using one of the limousines. I can't exactly say why though. It's not as if I couldn't afford it. Maybe I need to be among ordinary, normal people for once? All those managerial types, the simpering secretaries and other office-drones get on anyone's nerves after a while. I sigh, knowing that having to put up with individuals like those is, among other things, one of the drawbacks of running such a successful business as mine. Albeit softly, I sigh again as I am once more reminded of the reason for my dislike of close crowds, especially large, female ones. A giggling, babbling bunch of geese would be preferable to that knot of high-school girls over there. The former at least can be silenced, cooked and eaten. 

Granted, I _do_ stand out. Even though I am half-Japanese, I am over 6 feet tall, rather muscular, too. What makes me really exceptional in the eyes of those idiot, however, is probably my hair, blond strands flowing down and over my shoulders. That – and my eyes. A former lover of mine once likened them to sky-blue sapphires or something similar sappy. I guess she was right. Glancing at the foolish girls but briefly, I turn away just in time to see them blushing and whispering, the flock of them nearly walking straight into a phone-booth. Ha! Serves them right. Heavens, why...? Why do I seem to be surrounded by idiots in all kinds of shape and form? Isn't there even one single person who—

I can't but frown at the by now all too familiar path my thoughts are taking. Why do I wish for that 'someone'? Why do I feel as if a certain _something_ is missing, leaving a big hole in my life unfilled? Why do none of my many accomplishments make me...happy? Although I am _content_ with my life as it is, power, success, fame – these seem to be so...trivial these days. And yet, I have everything one could want, right?

This is frustrating me to no end. I bite back a snarl. If I really am so content – then why do I keep having those dreams nearly every night? Though come dawn, I always am unable to recall anything definite about them. The only thing I _do_ remember, however, is that there is someone at my side, always. A comforting presence that feels like a part of me yet a separate entity at the same time. Strange as it may sound, this 'someone' is—

I am rudely awakened from my musings by cars honking and people screaming, pointing at something I can't yet see. A second later I wish that I still couldn't. There's a non-descript car heading straight towards me. Everything seems to slow down all of a sudden. Even as I move to evade the car, I can't but seethe at the audacity of the whole thing. Setting up such an obviously planned murder – or at least attempt at it – in broad daylight. The nerve!

Then, just as I am about to reach safety, my gaze is suddenly, unwittingly, drawn towards a young man on the opposite side of the street. Our eyes meet. Somewhere in the back of my mind I _know_ that I have seen those eyes somewhere before. I can't remember where exactly, though. I honestly can't remember ever seeing such a clear, vivid violet-grey...

I am so engrossed in staring at that person that I forget to move, forget the car, forget everything and everyone else. They, however, have not forgotten me. As the car hits me, my last, rather incoherent thought is _'Tamahome......'_

                                                                                         ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

On the other side of the street, a young man with dark, blue-black hair stares wide-eyed at the scene, seemingly frozen into immobility. Then he suddenly comes alive again, wrenching his hand free of the brown-haired girl holding it. After shouting at her to call an ambulance, he takes off, racing across the street, running towards the fallen man.

                                                                                         ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

I can feel myself falling, falling slowly, ever-so-slowly down, landing on the concrete of the sidewalk. Then I know no more. As darkness starts to engulf me, violet-grey eyes accompany me into unconsciousness.

"Oi... Oi! Don't pass out like that!"

Really. Has no-one ever told you that you should not shake a possibly injured person like that? Such an action can hurt said person even further, you know. But then again... You rarely were someone who would think before acting…weren't you, _Tamahome_? Now that I _know_, that I _remember_, I cannot fathom why I ever forgot. Why didn't I remember? After all, I made a promise to you that we would meet again. I just didn't think it would happen this way.

"Hey, mister.....not give up........ambulance.............soon..."

Why do you sound so frantic all of a sudden? It's not as if I am going to die. Not now that I have found you again. Not now that I finally, finally remember.

"......you call...? .....when..."

He's not talking to me now. However, I recognize the female voice answering him. That girl! Her voice alone grates on my nerves, making my blood fairly boil in anger. How dare she—!

I must have made some sound or movement because I can feel him kneeling down at my side again. As it should be. Tamahome's hand is a comforting weight on my shoulder. I think this contact is all that is keeping me from fully slipping into unconsciousness. That just would have been too easy, hm?

"...ster, the ambul..........here. Doc..."

Ah so those medics have finally arrived. About bloody time, too. Even _he_ won't be able to keep me awake much longer. I _am_ aware of my body's need for healing itself quite acutely, thank you very much.

As I can feel myself being carefully lifted onto a stretcher, I wonder whether Tamahome has also recognized me. What a pity if he has not! Had I been conscious and coherent let alone able to, I would have smirked at the idea of the two of us 're-acquainting' ourselves. I have some difficulty but just as the medics push the stretcher into the ambulance, I manage to pry my eyes open. Unseeing, my gaze wanders over the faces of those pathetic curiosity-seekers still loitering around. Then I find him. There he is! My eyes lock with his and 'something' sparks between us. Again.

The last thing I see before the doors are closed are surprised twin-pools of grey amethyst widening from surprise to a sort of terrified recognition.

                                                                                         ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

Watching the ambulance disappear around the corner, the young man grips the hand of his girlfriend tightly. He doesn't listen to her soft-voiced protests. Or, to be more precise, he doesn't even hear them. He is still caught and held by seas of sapphire blue. His mind is on the ambulance, on the injured person riding within it. All he can think of right now is _'Itcan'beitcan'tbeitcan'tbe... It. Can't. Be!'_

_'.........Or can it?'_

**To Be Continued. . .**

A/N: Originally, I wanted to write 'Tsuzuku' *points to TBC* - but when I actually typed 'Tsuzuk**i**' instead for the umpteenth time, I gave up. It just wasn't meant to be. *sighs* Oh, and the _'Mitsukareta!'_ of this chapter's title roughly means 'I found you again!'. (Neither my Japanese nor my capacity for thinking up titles is very good... ^^;;)

Replies to reviews:

(Almost forgot to thank those wonderful people who took the time to review this... ^^;;)

- Hydra-Star: Thank you. I love hearing from people who read my fanfic. (Still can't believe there actually are such people out there. ~__^) Your review was really enlightening, in more was than one. You'll see. . .

- Illusion-chan: I promise I will keep updating as fast as I can. That death-scene(s?) was practically writing itself. Now if only the other stuff were that easy, too. __ (Hope you don't mind me mentioning your name.)

- Ish: Thanks for the help. Although after we finished, somehow _Someone_ snatched Tamahome away. I haven't seen him since. ^^V

- otaku-no-miko: Your review confirmed my assumption. *hands over car-shaped cookies* Thank you.


	4. A hospital is a thoughtfull place

Disclaimer: How often do I have to say this? *sighs* Not mine, not mine, not mine... *cries* Nothing and no-one from „Fushigi Yuugi" belongs to me. I only borrowed them from Watase Yuu & associates to...er, ‚have some fun' with them. *brightens up* But the plot, including any holes, is entirely my own creation! ^^v 

Warning: In case no-one has noticed, this is – or mainly will be – a Nakago X Tamahome fanfic. I simply adore those two too much to let an overly naive, too-idealistic-for-her-own-good foodaholic like Miaka have such guy as Tamahome. (Now how to get  those two apart... *starts scheming*)

Notes: Yay! Finally managed to type what I had written over the holidays. *munches heart-shaped cookies* I like to write – but I _hate_ to type! *munch munch* Say, is it just me or are these chappies getting somewhat longer...?

**Not Letting Go**

by Hotaru Muraki

_Chapter 3: A hospital is a thought-full place_

"...-san, you need to be careful for a while but your injuries should be healed completely in about two weeks." The sound of someone shuffling paper. Then footsteps walking away, a door opening and closing with an unusually loud click. Or maybe this silence was just making me react overly sensitive right now.

I came to with a start, realizing just as soon as I opened my eyes where I was and why. Those—! Hot, fiery anger was rising within me. How _dare those low-life bastards attack me, the shogun of Kutou!? I would— No. I no longer held that position, nor did Kutou exist in this time and place anymore. The realization really hit me then, hard, and all I could do not to scream was to lie back, embarrassingly helpless, as my memories came crashing back fully, threatening to drown me in their intensity. For a moment, I was totally disoriented. Only when the nurses came running, called by the accelerated beeping of that infernal machine they attached me to – only then did I notice that I was shaking. Me – shaking!_

As those probably well-meaning but nevertheless incompetent fools fussed around me, my eyes focused on the doctor entering my room. He seemed like a rock of calm in a noisy sea of movement. Swiftly he calmed the nurses, admonishing them for their unprofessional chattering sternly but more gently than I would and – thank the Heavens! – finally sending them out of the room. How embarrassing! My consciousness must have...slipped for a moment because the next thing I knew was the doctor bending over me, shining a light into my eyes. I glared at him. He stepped back slightly, blinking at me in astonishment. Clearly my reaction to his nearness surprised the man. Well, I never liked people getting too close to me, invading my personal space. The only exception being— Wrenching my mind from...things I would consider later, I looked at him, my mask of calm control easily sliding into place. I bet he didn't expect me to recover so quickly from...whatever I had. Then the tall doctor smiled faintly. What was it that he found so obviously amusing!?

"I am glad you are fully conscious now. I spoke to you earlier but you seemed to be not...quite awake then. How do you feel?"

Stupid question. Really... "Reasonably well, thank you."

"...ah." Double-blink. "As for your injuries..." Here the doctor flipped open a clip-chart he pulled from the foot of my bed. Glancing down briefly, he looked at me again. "Considering what happened to you, you can consider yourself lucky."

Lucky? Lucky!? This had nothing to do with luck. This doctor was joking, right?

"The car must have only grazed you. Discounting the several abrasions and lacerations you suffered, you sprained your right ankle and dislocated your left shoulder. When you subsequently fell, your left arm was fractured but, fortunately, not broken completely. This will take the longest time to heal. However, it should be fine if you _do not put any_ undue stress on the limb."

'Undue stress' – _what_ was that man _thinking_?! I had a corporation to run. It is never advisable to leave business matters alone for too long. Who knew what would happen if, for example, Shouyu decided to preside over the next company-meeting. That would just _scream disaster! She might be a business-woman in her own right – but _not_ on _that_ scale. Still, that was not what was foremost on my mind right now. Deciding to leave pondering 'that' special matter for a later time – preferably when I was alone and undisturbed – I tuned in again on what the doctor was saying._

"...so you will have to take it a bit more easy for the time being." The doctor tilted his head a little to the side, clearly puzzled by my lack of response. Or maybe he already suspected how his advice would be followed. "There are some people who claim to be...friends of yours waiting outside. When the hospital called the number the medics found in your  wallet, they came immediately. As you were still unconscious then, I asked them to wait outside while I checked on you. Now... Do you want to see them?"

Misinterpreting my silence as a negative, he continued. "But maybe this would not be such a good idea right now. You're still somewhat in shock and—"

"No, show them in." If I correlated my newly recovered 'old' memories correctly with the ones of this incarnation's then... "It's alright."

As I watched the doctor reluctantly turn towards the door, I had a sudden...flashback of this man, standing with sad eyes, yet somehow still tall and proud among a host of wounded people, literally giving his life, doing his best to help them. Then the man in the vision and the doctor in my hospital room both turned their head to the side. One image overlay the other, unintentionally giving me a good view of his profile. I knew him! I _had seen this man...before. Back then. In another life a long, long time ago. . . . . Although he was not sporting that purple-and-yellow headband, there was no mistaking that Suzaku-healer. Mitsukake, I believe he was called. It figured, somehow, that he would stay true to his chosen calling even in another incarnation. But then again...so will I._

Before I could say anything, the broad-shouldered doctor had stepped outside, talking low to someone _just_ out of sight of my room's doorway. I had little time to wonder about their conversation, however, because all of a sudden, the door was thrown open and a woman I knew only too well walked—no, _sashayed in. Superimposed over her graceful, costume-clad body, I saw the form of a rather scantily clad woman with her long, reddish hair partly pulled into a loop over her right ear. Soi. I didn't think I would meet _you_ again, or, at least, not this fast. But now that it actually happened, I found that I was not as surprised as I should be, not really anyway. I wondered who would be next._

"Nagare-sama, are you alright? What happened? ...How do you feel?"

I blinked. 'Nagare-sama'...?! Then I reminded myself that for her, it was only natural to know me by another name. It was another life-time, after all. So she really did not remember me... And for no particular reason I could discern, I felt a little disappointed at that.

"Nagare-sama......?" A worried, questioning gaze was directed at me.

She still was as beautiful, as dedicated as she ever had been before. Her voice still had the same sultry almost-purr it held...the last time we both met. "Iie, nan demonai, Shouyu-san. I am alright, really. The doctor told me I was lucky to sustain only 'minor injuries' as he put it. They insist on keeping me here for some more days 'for observation'." A cool, well-manicured hand lightly touched my cheek, brushing along my jaw and, in the process, moving some strands of my hair out of the way. This felt so familiar...

"I was really worried when I got the call from the hospital, you know." Although her voice stayed calm and even, her eyes softened and her body relaxed somewhat. Soi's voice was dropping, becoming more husky, more...intimate as she continued. "When they told me you had been in an accident, I...I thought you... I was...afraid that you had... I—"

"Actually, she practically dropped what she was holding and rushed here. Shouyu-san was so anxious to reach you that she probably broke every speed-limit and then some on our way here," a youth of about fourteen years said wryly upon entering. His [blue] eyes twinkled with a mixture of amusement and relief. The eyes of the boy following closely behind were more guarded but they mirrored the relief in his... brothers. ...They...were _twins_?! Then everything clicked into place. Of course! Where Amiboshi went, Suboshi inevitably was bound to follow. Smiling somewhat wryly myself, I look at....Soi.

"So....Shouyu-san, why did you bring those two along with you?" Not that I disliked seeing them, mind you. Quite the contrary, in fact, unusual though that may be for me. What did peak me, however, was watching Soi blush, for once at a loss on how to answer without embarrassing herself. Surprisingly enough, it was Suboshi who answered. Or maybe he just wanted to get out of here again. Not that I could blame him for that. I was starting to get that feeling myself.

"We asked her to." The accompanying almost-glare _dared me to comment lightly on that. Of course I did not. Why would I ever do such a thing...? But before I could answer, a minor commotion erupted suddenly out in the hallway. Soi as well as Amiboshi and Suboshi seemed to know what was happening. Or, rather, who. Unfortunately, I did not. Not yet. But instinct told me that this would change sooner than I might think. I directed a questioning gaze at Soi, rising an eyebrow slightly in silent query. Her rather guilty twitch betrayed her nervousness, giving vivid proof that indeed, Soi knew what was going on and was obviously loath to share that information._

And I was right. The door crashed inward, making Soi flinch and Amiboshi wince as it connects with the wall. Suboshi just stepped protectively in front of his brother, glaring at the newcomer with a fury that could in its intensity almost peel off the paint of the wall. The newcomer, however, paid the glaring teen no heed, instead rushing to my side, almost bowling Soi over in his haste to reach me.

"Kiryuu-sama, are you alright? How hurt are you? What happened? Who—?..."

And while he continued barraging me with questions ranging from inquiries after my health to the recently altered furnishing of my office, I had time enough to look the man over thoroughly. He was two or three years younger than me, rather on the willowy side, with shoulder-length, glossy grey-black hair pulled back in a ponytail and piercing yellow-amber eyes.

For a rather surreal moment I wondered why he wasn't wearing any of his usual makeup. Then I was once more quite rudely reminded of where and _when I was right now. Dumping a laptop in someone's...well, lap, could do that. I must have looked somewhat incredulously at ex-Tomo because he fell silent all of a sudden. I wonder how he managed to look chagrined, guilty, apologetic and yet business-like all at the same time and with just one expression. But then again, he was—no, __had been a superb actor whenever it had become necessary. Hm... Maybe I was interpreting too much into this..._

"Kiryuu-sama... I _know_ you have to stay in this hospital for a few days..._but there are some matters that _need_ your _personal_ attention. Some important business-matters..." A calculated, not-quite-derisive glance towards Soi. "...with far-reaching consequences. The plans that have been discussed for some time now..." Here Tomo deliberately but foolishly turned his back on Soi. "Those plans are ready to be taken to the next level."_

I guessed by that look of his that Tomo sought my approval and/or attention. Well, what we had discussed _did_ warrant close attention from me. My being where I was right now was just another – in my opinion absolutely unnecessary – proof of that. Drawing myself forcibly back from my musings of what I would like to do to those who _dared to oppose me, I gazed back at Tomo. "I am aware of that, Keshou-san, thank you." He flinched at my rather acerbic tone. "And thank you for your concern regarding my person. Is there anything that needs immediate attention?" Besides a pair of violet-grey eyes, that is. Preferably with the respective body attached._

For some mysterious reason, Tomo tensed, his hitherto relaxed stance becoming a closed-off sort of posture. I blinked. Then, upon seeing the twins strain to keep a straight face, I looked at Soi, my face blank and rather devoid of emotion. Soi was not quite as... adamant in hiding her amusement. Or maybe she saw no need to.

Tomo, however, was not amused. "Is there something funny about what I said...Shouyu-_san_!? Or maybe you are too 'occupied'... elsewhere...?" A thinly-veiled look of disdain crossed Tomo's features. Soi's varied...appetites obviously rankled him.

The woman in question, however, was anything but shy about voicing her opinions. "Maa, maa... Keshou-_chan_, what are _you_ worried about? Are you maybe...'frustrated' in some way...?" Soi's smile was so saccharine-sweet it made your teeth ache.

Tomo remained visibly unaffected though. Instead he glared at Soi for all he was worth, not wanting to deign her with a verbal rejoinder but clearly not content to let the... insinuated matter drop either.

Soon the proverbial sparks flew between them. The air fairly sizzled with tension, just waiting to escalate into violence. Some of the people present, namely myself, did not want the figurative sparring followed up by a literal one. Amiboshi and Suboshi both threw me _Look, obviously from experience not daring to try and intervene in fear of getting scorched to cinders in the process. If looks could kill..._

I coughed, immediately drawing the attention of both. My face must have shown them what I thought of their childish bickering for they had the grace to at least look sheepish and embarrassed at being caught like that.

"Shouyu-san, please call the doctor. I need to speak with him."

Nodding in an attempt at dignified acquiescence, Soi hurriedly left the room. Tomo wisely refrained from gloating openly.

"...As for you, Keshou-san... Please answer my question."

A calm slightly impatient voice worked wonders here. Sigh. Or not. Tomo blinked at me for a moment, trying to remember what the question had been. I could feel a headache coming.

"Ah, yes... The documents and information regarding your business-plans are in here." He indicated the light but expensive-looking laptop. "They are just as you left them...although Tare-san insisted on providing an additional encrypting program for a maximum of security."

"Ah." Now why did that not surprise me? My chief of security had always been cautious but after this incident, he probably would elevate the meaning of 'paranoia' to new heights. Sighing inaudibly, I knew that there would be no avoiding the inevitable. There never was. I might as well get it over and done with now. "Thank you...Keshou-san. I will take care of these matters."

Tomo appeared relieved to have escaped any scathing remarks concerning professional behaviour. Normally, I _would_ have said something – but not now, not today. Another matter was far more prominent on my mind right now. Which reminded me...

"Oh, and Keshou-san."

Said person had already moved towards the door but upon hearing his name, turned around again to fully face me.

"Yes, Kiryuu-sama...?" Tomo's voice as well as his whole bearing spoke of polite attentiveness, an underlying eagerness to please, to prove his loyalty towards me only discernible for those who knew how to look for it. I could not but wonder. Was he acting? Or...was there also something more to this time's incarnation, too? Ah well...

"One other thing. How is the schedule for this year's internship proceeding?"

".........It is proceeding as planned. The applications have been sorted and the...unsuitable candidates dismissed. At this stage, all that remains to be done is to select the set number from those remaining. The same procedure as last year, Kiryuu-sama?"

"The same procedure as every year, Keshou-san." Odd. For some reason, this conversation sounded very familiar. But how—? Shrugging it off as irrelevant, I focused on Tomo once more. Was he..._blushing_!? "Then bring me the respective files when you come to visit tomorrow. I will take care of this personally." And for totally different reasons than you might imagine.

"...hai, Kiryuu-sama. Is there anything else you need?"

"Actually... Yes. I need a new set of clothes from my office. These—" I gestured towards the discarded, dirty pile of clothing on the small table near the window. "—are damaged beyond repair. Only fit for the rag-bin."

"Hai, Kiryuu-sama. As you wish." With that, Tomo bowed deeply in my direction, murmuring "Mata ashita, Kiryuu-sama.". Then he turned and opened the door, nearly colliding with Soi in the process. Sparks flew – but fortunately nothing else. Amiboshi and Suboshi just watched, wisely choosing to remain silent and out of immediate harm's way. Both of them managed to contain their obvious amusement rather admirably.

Soi... Soi just stepped a little sideways. Her face was a carefully composed blank as Tomo walked past. However, the way she was watching his retreating back for a moment longer, one could almost think that she wanted to make absolutely sure that the man was really, really gone. I snickered. How much had changed – and yet how little.

Confronted with Soi's perplexed gaze, I composed myself again, outwardly appearing calm and focused once more. "Yes? Is something the matter...?" I let my voice trail off, letting just a _hint of impatience show._

"I...ah.....eto..."

Usually, Soi was not a woman who could be flustered easily. Maybe it was just me.

Visibly pulling herself together, Soi ploughed on determinedly. "....no, Kiryuu-sama." She glared at the softly whispering twins. "I just came in to tell you that the doctor will be with you shortly."

"Thank you, Shouyu-san. I will see you tomorrow...?" I looked at her, my expression slightly questioning but mostly deadpan. Then, upon seeing Soi's cheeks heat up, I inanely wondered whether she chose mostly reddish colours because she wanted to distract from her blushing. Hm....... How far did that blush reach exactly...? I glanced at the twins. While Soi was busy blushing, Amiboshi and Suboshi were busy whispering and giggling. When they noticed me watching them, they fell silent, however. Is my gaze that unnerving? Internally smirking, I decided to try something new. I winked at them.

What followed only proved that although those two _were twins, Amiboshi and Suboshi also were separate people with different personalities. Amiboshi's face lit up like the Christmas Tree at Nakano Plaza whereas Suboshi simply froze, looking anywhere else but in my direction. How droll! Now I was really smirking, albeit slightly. Apparently, that was too much for them. They bolted, nearly bowling over the doctor who had been about to enter._

"Nani? What has gotten into them _now_!?" Soi said, blinking in astonishment. For once, her observational skill had failed. She obviously hadn't noticed a thing. When she saw the doctor, she bowed to him politely. "Sensei, please take good care of Kiryuu-sama." Then she turned to me, trying to convey with her eyes what her mouth dared not utter in the presence of others. "Kiryuu-sama, I will see you tomorrow then. Please get well soon." Bowing deeply, she straightened and walked out of the room, shutting the door with an audible click.

"Kiryuu-san?"

"Hai?"

"Is anything amiss? Do you need anything?" The doctor, amnesiac Mitsukake, walked to my bedside. As he looked at me, I could see it in his eyes. He seemed genuinely concerned. How odd... What was that saying? 'The eyes are the window to the soul.'? Ah.... Sigh. How I long to open those violet-grey windows to yours.......

Sighing softly, I answered the doctor's query from before. "No, everything is fine. I was just wondering whether there was a possibility to connect my laptop to the hospital's power supply. The battery won't last forever..." Not that this was a normal everyday request. However, it is strategically imprudent to blindly proceed into a possibly unpleasant situation where a few words could get you the desired results without any risk involved. If this failed... Well, then I could still proceed as I wanted to. Anyway, some people don't take lightly someone infringing on what they considered 'their' territory. I should know. I was like that myself. Plus, I still needed that doctor.

"You want to _work_ here!?" Disbelief had crept into the hitherto stoic doctor's voice.

"Yes." I thought that had been obvious, but... "Is that a problem?"

Blink. Blink. Double-blink. ".....no. As long as you don't overexert yourself. And you will have to adhere to the lights-out at 21:00." Amnesia-Mitsukake sighed somewhat wryly at that. He seemed to be used to patients being 'difficult'. ...but why did he find that so amusing?

"I will plug in the cord in the socket to the right of your bed." He grinned slightly. "Otherwise you might get it into your head to do it yourself. And from what I've heard, a fall from the bed can be quite...painful." With that, the healer reached for the extension cord and, kneeling down, plugged it in.

Was that big dolt trying to make a jest?! For how insensible did that ex-Suzaku-goon take me? ...And why did that small jibe rankle me so unproportionally?

Straightening up again, the doctor dusted off his pants. "If there is anything else you need..." Nodding at my head-shake, he continued, "...please call one of the nurses. They will be only too happy to help you."

Heavens forbid! I had seen them whispering to each other earlier. And from the looks they gave me whenever they thought I was not watching, I could guess their intentions quite clearly, thank you very much! Seriously injuring a nurse while still in hospital was not an option. Sadly enough, neither was killing those annoying twittery pests. Sigh. Anyway... "Thank you...sensei. For your...professional advice."

The doctor, his hand already on the doorknob, turned his head towards me. "You are welcome, Kiryuu-san." A small bow and he was gone. The door clicked shut.

I wondered whether the healer's friendly demeanour had anything to do with who I was. And yet... Somehow I didn't think so.

Sighing to an empty, peaceful, _quiet_ room, I switched on my laptop and set to work.

TBC...

Note: Sorry, I forgot to explain this in the last chapter. 'mitsukareta' roughly translates as 'I found you again!' As for the expressions/names in this chapter…

~ KIRYUU Nagare = Nakago; Kiryuu = ki + dragon

~ KESHOU ??? = Tomo; keshou = MakeUp

~ SHOUYU ??? = Soi; shouyu = soy sauce ^^v

~ 'Iie, nan demonai.' = 'No, it's nothing.' (a.k.a. 'I'm alright.')

Reply to reviews:

Thank you, all of you, for not giving up on the lazy bum who's writing this fic. ^^;; You really keep me going!

- Illusions-chan: Believe me, I know what too much sugar can do. (How do you think I got into this…this…whatever! *points to NLG*) As for Nakago not liking attention... Well, it's sooo much easier to get something if you're unconspicuous, noda. (Not that _that_'d ever stop him! ^^v)

- Hydra-Star: *g* So sorry to leave you hanging. And for so long, too. Thanks for raising some interesting points. (Especially that TxM-thing!)

- Ish: I agree. It does sound quite unbelievable. (And thanks for your tip! ^^) And yes, Tamahome/Taka does have his memories. *points to anime* But I couldn't resist making him a little...befuddled. I mean, come on. Who'd expext to meet their greatest enemy just like that?

- Lady-Luna-sky: *huggles* I knew there had to be other Nakago/Tamahome fans out there!! ^^v


	5. Lights out

Disclaimer: ...And they're still not mine. *sighs* Watase Yuu and her associates won't consent to handing them over to me. *pouts* I swear I would take good care of them!

Notes: Well... This seems to go along quite nicely...for now. __;; Anyway, this chapter was done a bit faster than the last one – which is one of the reasons for its shortness. (Am I making any sense here!? @__@;;)

**Not Letting Go**

by Hotaru Muraki

_Chapter 4: Lights out_

Suddenly it was dark, the light from my laptop the only source of illumination in the room. I looked at the built-in clock. Oh. So it was that late already...and I had accomplished only about half of what I had originally planned to do. Sigh. This arm of mine was already vexing me to no end, not mentioning the rest of my injuries. Well, at least _those would heal a lot faster. But to have my [left/right] arm temporarily impaired... I did not like that. No, I did not like that at all. Thoughts of enemies trying to exploit what they might perceive as weaknesses chased through my head. Then I blinked, abruptly returning to reality. Now what had—?_

.......Oh. My screensaver had kicked in, activating itself upon not receiving any instructions. Thinking of certain...events of this early afternoon, I smirked. As hindsight was ever perfect, _now I knew why I had instinctively chosen those violet-grey lines twisting and turning, undulating against and mingling with sapphire ones. But enough of this. For now anyway._

I shut down my laptop and closed it, plunging the room in nearly complete darkness. Slowly my eyes adjusted. The lights of the ever-busy city outside provided some scant measure of aid with which I was able to see my surroundings. 

After I could 'see' the layout of my room, I carefully placed the laptop on the chair next to my bed. I left the cord where it was. Hopefully, the battery would have recharged itself come morning. Having accomplished that I slowly sank back, finally coming to rest on the mattress.

Then, as I once again stared at another unfamiliar ceiling, all that had happened today came crashing down on me in force. And suddenly I felt so very, very tired... Want to sle—.......

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

In a room on the seventh floor of a hospital in present-day Tokyo, the body of one Kiryuu Nagare fell asleep. That person had been reincarnated into this world and this time. However, in another world and a totally different lifetime, the man who now was an influential business tycoon had been the equally powerful and gifted Shogun of Kutou, Seiryuu Seishi Nakago. And it was to this past that his mind turned in sleep. It simply would not let him rest this night...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Flash-like images of a childhood lived mostly among a foreign people fly past, glossing over the scorn and disdain experienced at the hands of those people but not understood, barely slowing upon the loss of his mother. Only when the boy is brought in front of the Kutou-Emperor do the images come up more haltingly.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The figure on the hospital bed started  to twist and thrash uneasily, sheets bunching up in agitation. It's almost as if almost as if the one dreaming knows what will happen and, being unable to prevent anything, wants to thwart the dream from proceeding. However, no such luck. The sleeper does not wake...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

A young boy grows up in a court where the weak are easily preyed upon by those of higher status or greater wealth and influence. Transgressions go unnoticed, crimes remain unpunished if the culprit is too high-ranked or too prestigious. Figurative as well as literal back-stabbing seems to be the order of the day.

Out of necessity, driven by the burning urge to survive, to revenge himself, the boy learns these lessons – and he learns them well. So well indeed that at the age of 21, he is already made shogun. About a year later, he controls over two thirds of this country's military. He no longer is weak, nor is he helpless. No-one dares to cross him. And of those few fools who actually do cross the blond-haired man, no-one lives to tell of it. No-one opposes him. No-one...

..............................

A man, no, still a _boy, attacks, throwing himself forward in anger and fury. It is easy enough for Nakago to step aside and dodge the attack. Even though the boy must have seen the futility of persisting, he attacks a second time. Nakago is surprised at the fire blazing in the youth's violet-grey eyes. So surprised that he does not manage to fully pull away this time. The boy's blow actually succeeds in grazing the shogun's side. This has not happened in....a long, long time!_

Nakago is...pleased? Maybe _he_ is the one who...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The boy arrives at the palace in Kutou's capital late, in the middle of the night. Nakago watches from a second-floor window, safely unseen, as he dismounts in the yard. And although the boy seems complacent enough, the shogun can sense this one's fiery rage even from where he is watching in silence. It is a good thing that Lady Yui went through with the plan he himself so very carefully instigated. Demanding this boy as hostage... This one is strong, full of fire and passion. Now all that remains to be seen is whether the boy's fire is hot enough to warm even someone as icily cold as Nakago...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Days pass by. The boy, Tamahome, alternates between brooding silence and restless agitation. Lady Yui spends most of her time with him. She tries to win him over from that other girl by any means she can conceive of, never once realizing how futile her efforts are. Nakago just watches her dispassionately. She is but a means to an end. Nothing more. But the boy... The boy definitely has the potential.

Overhearing them spak one day, Nakago idly wonders what it would be like to have this boy...to have _Tamahome_ speak to _him_ this way. Maybe he would even say his name in a warmer tone of voice than Nakago has ever heard from any of those surrounding him. Maybe... Nakago blinks. Yes, and if wishes were horses...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

A clatter of feet running down a wood-panelled hallway. The boy actually tries to escape, reneging on his promise in order to rush to his beloved priestess. Fool! Does he really think he will succeed? Nakago won't allow that. Why should Tamahome escape where Nakago could not? With a sharp crack, the shogun snakes out his whip and traps the boys ankle. He moves towards him, smirking sinisterly. Tamahome will have to be shown the consequences of breaking such a promise...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Flashes of Kudoku-influenced Tamahome. Even though the ogre-symbol will never again blaze on his forehead, he still is a warrior to be reckoned with. Fierce, strong and determined. Nakago privately thinks that black suits the boy even more than the dark blue colours he wore before. Although... Their daily practice sessions leave the blond shogun feeling as if something... undefinable is missing. He still enjoys his time with the former Suzaku Seishi but...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Tamahome is walking the hallway of the palace, slowly drawing nearer. The mission Nakago has send him on must have been successful then. Wait, something is different about the boy. Although Lady Yui has yet to notice, Nakago somehow _knows_ immediately. And the scroll Tamahome is carrying... The shogun looks closer, then imperceptible draws back. Impossible! How did he...?

Only when Tamahome answers does Nakago realize he spoke out loud. Only when violet-grey eyes meets sapphire-blue ones, once again proud, fierce – only then does Nakago understand what has happened. And only when he is alone this night does Nakago allow himself feelings of remorse about that loss.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

A scene of burning destruction. Pieces of crushed buildings and wrecked cars. Screams and sirens wailing helplessly somewhere in the background. The goal is near, so near... Not even Tamahome, powerless as he is right now, will be able to stop him. He knows it. Tamahome must know it, too. ...So why in Seiryuu's name does that boy still persist? Why does he keep attacking even though he _must_ know how futile his paltry efforts are?

If Nakago wants to triumph, he will have to kill the one who has managed to thaw him with his fire. To finally achieve all that he has striven for for so long, to reach the goal he set for himself since the age of six... Or to spare a boy who is a constant source of irritation, defying, opposing and stubbornly resisting him at every turn. To live...or to live with himself...

The question is what Nakago places more importance on.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Floating in a sea of darkness, content and finally at ease. But somehow, there is still this maddening feeling of being...incomplete. Searching seemingly forever....yet not knowing what for. Then...in the distance, a violet light appears. It grows.

...Or is it he who draws nearer? It really does not matter.

As he gets closer, he can see that the violet radiance is tinged with shining, silvery grey. The light of this...sun feels warm to him, a soothing balm on the torn edges of his self, his soul. He can feel the void where his heart is start to fill, his mind really at peace now. For the first time he can remember, he starts to feel completely content,.......happy. Finally—

—But then, Nakago is cruelly ripped away from his amethyst heaven. A cold white light pulls him into an equally cold unknown place. No! NOOO!!! He wants to go back, back to his light. Where is his haven? He is crying. Now he has to look for it all over again! Bleakest despair descends...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

...and I sat up in my bed, at this precise moment not knowing whether I was Nakago or Nagare, my heart beating too fast for comfort. I looked at the pre-dawn-lit hospital-room without really seeing it. After a while, my heartbeat slowed down again and reluctantly, a sizeable amount of normalcy returned.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. I remembered...everything. Yes, I remembered the...dream, especially the heart-breaking feeling of loss, the forced separation at the end. Then I thought of the time he had seen and felt that violet-grey...whatever. Dwelling on this for a moment, I could feel my whole body heat up rapidly.

And as the pearly grey light of early dawn tentatively crept into the room, I decided that he _really_ needed a shower. A long, long shower. Only to...rid myself of the last...vestiges of this night's dream, of course.

TBC

Notes: ......and now what? *sighs* Ah, don't you just want to hug and cuddle him?? *looks at suddenly blazing symbol on forehead* Errr… Then again, maybe better not. *hides behind confused Tamahome/Taka* *mutters to self* I wonder what he'll do in the shower, though…

Reply to reviews:

- Ish: Thanks for considering this fic an enjoyable tiny part of your life. (Even though this part's waaaayyy too short! ^^;;)


	6. The Day After

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine. ((wails)) I know that already so please stop pointing out the obvious, okay? It's bitter enough as it is that the whole of 'Fushigi Yuugi' belongs to Watase Yuu-sensei and associates.

Note 1: A kind of birthday-present to Nakago-sama. Although it's one day late, it's still coming from the bottom of my heart. ((sweatdrops)) Now why does that sound...disturbing? I'm not _that_ scary. ((pauses)) Most of the times at least.

Note 2: Yes, this fic is _still_ alive. And I _will_ finish it. ((glances back)) There are some people motivating me to stick with this. ((g)) The chains binding me to the chair will help some, too.

-

-

**Not Letting Go**

by Hotaru Muraki

_-_

_Part 6: The Day After_

-

I was just stepping put of the shower when I heard a rather timid knock at the door, followed by an even more tentative "Kiryuu-sama...?". These nurses really had one hell of a timing. Fortunately, I had already finished what I had wanted to do. I was feeling more relaxed now, refreshed and energized, although I privately admitted that I did not feel quite ready to take on the world at large... yet. Anyway, first thing first. So...

"Yes?"

I could just _hear_ the nurse gasping softly as she worked out the implications of where my voice had come from. Sigh. What was so strange about someone taking a shower? Especially when the day promised to be one of those hot, humid summer-days so frequent in this city. These nurses certainly were...annoying.

"Ano... Sumimasen, Kiryuu-sama, demo..." Her effort at regaining her professional composure made her sound strangled rather than competent. "...I just wanted to inform you that Naoku-sensei will be calling on you shortly." Then, in a breathier voice, "...is there anything I can help you with?"

Heaven's forbid! Onna, I'm not _that_ desperate. Especially not now that I have found again the one I have been looking for all along. Thus my voice was rather glacial as I replied, "No.......thank you." I could barely keep the disgust out of my voice, only slightly comforted by the waves of disappointment I sensed coming through the door. A clatter of shoes and the sharp _click_ of a closing door were the only things I heard.

After I had towelled myself dry as best I could, I put the pajamas back on. I would really have preferred fresh ones but... Oh well. In this, too, I would have to make do with what was at hand. Only for the time being, I silently vowed to myself. Yes, for the time being..... I could not help smirking as I made my way back to my bed, my mind already thinking, making plans on how to achieve my goals. If there is one thing I will never ever do, it is to let go of what is mine – no matter what.

As I settled back into the bed, I found that I could move more easily already. Hm... Had Seiryuu's powers awakened within me once more? But—why? How— Firmly squashing that thought for later perusal, I concentrated on my body. I closed my eyes, allowing my consciousness to slowly sink into myself. It was a rather...unusual feeling at first. Just imagine being able to 'see' your own body from the inside... Anyway, back on track. Yes... Ah, here, too. ...that is healed as well. ... Yes... Hn. ... The arm and shoulder will obviously take a bit longer to heal. However, that is but to be expected. I _could_ heal it but how would I explain that miraculous recovery convincingly enough for the doctors to not get suspicious about it? Besides, even in these days and age, such a sudden convalescence would attract attention I could very well do without. _That_ certainly was _not_ the kind of attention I wanted. Ah well, at least all those bruises were gone. I absolutely _hated_ having an itch I could not scratch.

My pondering the similarities of this and that 'other' situation I yet had to deal with was quite rudely interrupted by someone calling me – or, rather, calling the person I was at present. Sigh. Why _now_?

"...-riyuu-san....-lease.........-ke up..."

Ah, I knew that voice! Maybe it would really be better if I 'woke up' – before that doctor decided something was wrong and took possibly drastic countermeasures. But it was so comfortable right now.... Ah well. I sent my consciousness spiralling upwards again, my mind becoming clearer and more alert by the second. Soon I was resting behind closed eyelids.

I opened my eyes, refusing to blink at the bright sunlight assaulting my vision. "Yes?" The doctor, formerly known as Mitsukake, was slowly changing from a rather shapeless dark blob to the tall, distinguished form of the man I had encountered yesterday. At the same time, my surroundings came fully into focus. Judging from the light outside, it seemed to be somewhat late in the morning. Hm... My 'introspection' had taken longer than I had thought it would. Must be due to my lack of training. I would have to remedy that before—

".....I hope you have had a restful sleep."

I barely restrained myself from snorting. First of all, that would not be very dignified. And second... Second, define 'restful'! Really. What with those dreams and—-_that_.

"So how are you feeling today?"

Well, at least he didn't ask how 'we' were feeling. I despise that kind of mannerisms. It is not as if they were in any way entitled to use the _pluralis__ majestatis_. "Fine. Thank you for asking."

"Did you have any trouble with your injuries? Your arm?"

Sigh. Trust _this_ doctor to come straight to the point. My arm was indeed the one thing still bothering me. However, a sudden 'miraculous' recovery would have raised questions I was unwilling to answer. So I had to endure this discomfort – for now. But as soon as I was out of here...

The healer leaned towards me, trying his best to appear non-threatening. (Quite a feat considering his height and bulk. Plus, in contrast to me, he managed it quite well. Maybe he simply _was_ that way?) "I'm sorry but I will have to check on your left arm and shoulder. It's imperative that the strain does not stiffen your muscles." Using the electric lever at the left side of my bed, 'Naoku'-sensei brought the bed to a half-sitting position. "This might hurt a bit..."

And with that he gently prodded and probed my shoulder. Seiryuu, that _hurt_! I managed not to wince or show any other outward sign of pain. In fact, I barely even flinched. Such things had never been useful or working to my advantage before. And the miniscule flinch I failed to suppress was more due to the fact of him touching me than to show an expression of pain. I simply wasn't used to anyone touching me. Or, to be more precise, I...strongly disliked being touched. I always had. And now, with my memories completely restored, I knew why. It had always seemed so weird before...

After having finished 'hm'-ing and 'aha'-ing over my shoulder, the doctor straightened again. "The bruises and lacerations have healed quite well. So have the sprain and the concussion. As for your shoulder... It just needs a bit more rest and subsequent time for recuperation. A few more days here, just to be on the safe side." He scribbled something on his notepad. Anticipating my question, ex-Mitsukake continued, "If you absolutely _insisted_, you _could_ be released tomorrow. That would, of course, be only under the condition that you agreed to come for a check-up next week at the latest." He actually grinned at my less-than-enthusiastic facial expression.

"...Thank you, sensei." From anyone else, I would have said that the check-up was just a ruse to get something from me. But not from this man. "That is very...kind of you." I did not think my sarcasm was that noticeable – yet – but the doctor's eyes twinkled in merriment. What was it that he found so entertaining? I wonder.

"Well, then..." 'Mitsukake' gestured towards my laptop. "...I will leave you to your breakfast and your work." And with that, the doctor turned around and left again.

Right. My work. Looking at my laptop, I decided to have breakfast first. Even though what was on the tray was _not_ what I expected a breakfast to consist of, I knew, instinctively, that I would definitely need what little energy it could provide. My stomach chose this moment to growl in agreement. Hn. Treating my wounds must have exhausted my reserves of _ki_ more than I thought. Again, a lack of training I planned to remedy as soon as possible. Or maybe this...appetite had more to do with the regaining of my memories and thus the reawakening of my powers. Whatever the reason, I was ravenous. And not only for food. However, since I was unable to satisfy _that_ appetite at the moment, I had to settle for dealing with the immediate needs of nutrition for my body. For now.

Occasionally, I liked to take my time doing things so it took my about three quarters of an hour to finish off said breakfast. Then I exchanged the tray with my laptop. Sighing, I switched it on. Better to get the more pressing matters out of my way before concentrating on the _really_ important things, hm? Smirking to myself, I called up the first of the files and set to work.

) - ( ) - ( ) - ( ) - (

A tentative knock interrupted my concentration, also effectively halting my work. Looking at the built-in clock of my laptop, I realized that I had been working non-stop for over three hours. Well, I needed a break anyway so... "Yes?"

The door opened, revealing an anxious Tomo.

Oh. Right. He had said something about intending to visit me again. I hoped he had brought the files I had requested yesterday. He better...

"Kiryuu-sama, konnichiwa." He bowed deeply. "How are you today?" Tomo straightened again, stepping closer to the side of my bed. Today he wore a suit of light grey, a dark-blue shirt and a tie modestly striped in black, red and white. Oddly enough, these colours complemented him more now than with the garish opera costume he had worn...before.

"Fine. Thank you." And then, for some reason unable or unwilling to resist the impulse, I added, "Shouyu-san has not been along, though." Let him make of that what he wanted. "So, Keshou-san, have you brought the files I requested earlier?"

To his credit, let it be said that this abrupt change of topic fazed him but for a second. Blinking, Tomo replied somewhat evenly with a simple, "Hai, Kiryuu-sama." With that, 'Tomo' put his briefcase on the table by the window, turning his back to me. Never a wise thing to do. Smirk. And while he opened it, rummaging around a little to gather the files, I was free to peruse his silhouette. Yes, Tomo was still as long-limbed and graceful as ever. In fact, he looked better now than...back then. Especially since he had also ditched those long, sharp nails he had always favoured. Now that I thought about it, I would have been tempted – almost. If I had not met grey amethysts again, that is. When Tomo turned around again, I quickly schooled my face back into the expression of indifference I seemed to use most of the time these days.

"I'm sorry for making you wait, Kiryuu-sama," Tomo apologized. "These are the files you requested. Information, general and background, and applications are at the beginning of each file. A recommendation of intended operational area for each trainee has been added at the end." He offered me the files, his face too carefully neutral to be really convincing. Something clearly bothered him.

I took the files from him, setting them on top of my laptop without even looking at them. Instead, I rested my gaze on Tomo. Yes, I have been told repeatedly that my not-quite-staring could be...disconcerting at best. "Is something the matter, Keshou-san?" My voice was smooth, cool as could be.

"Iie, Kiryuu-sama. Nan demonai." Tomo seemed embarrassed at being caught like that.

I just raised my eyebrow minutely, emphasizing my question without any actual words.

"Hontou ni," Tomo insisted. "Everything is alright."

When he caught the sceptical look I directed at him, Tomo flushed, a nice shade of pink suffusing his pale cheeks. I wondered somewhat absent-mindedly how my Tamahome would look blushing like that – and what it would take to actually accomplish such a feat.

Forcing my wandering thought back on track _again_, I continued to gaze at Tomo. After some moments, he caved in.

"Sumimasen, Kiryuu-sama." Tomo bowed deeply. "It is just that... Some of those trainees seem..." He shrugged helplessly, unable to explain where exactly his unease stemmed from.

Well, of course he couldn't. After all, he didn't remember, did he. And he would not. Not if I had any say about it. 'Keshou-san' suited my purposes far better than 'Tomo' right now. So my "Ah?" combined with raised eyebrows was intended to throw him off-track.

Judging from the embarrassed blush spreading across his features and Tomo's refusal to meet my eyes, I had succeeded. It wouldn't do, however, to fluster him too much, entertaining though that was. Such a thing might hinder his efficiency more than it would serve my needs. So...

"Your concern has been duly noted," I said wryly. "I will include it into the perusal of the files you brought. Rest assured than any...discrepancies will not go by unnoticed."

Tomo's face was a wonderful study of embarrassment mixed with relief. He didn't comment on it, just bowed deeply, again, murmuring, "Hai. Doumo arigatou gozaimasu. Kiryuu-sama, I—"

I gestured, the wave of my hand signalling him that I had no intention nor interest in listening to his excuses. Or justifications. Or whatever it was he had been about to utter. I knew only too well how his mind worked. Sigh. He did have his uses, though. However, I would not avail myself of the one 'use' Tomo seemed only all-too-eager to give. Not when I—

The former illusionist bowed. "Hai, Kiryuu-sama. As you wish..." He straightened up again, once more his collected, business-like self. "Is there anything else you might need?"

Now why did he sound so hopeful all of a sudden...? I thought about it a moment, then decided that for once, I was better off not knowing. "No, Keshou-san. Thanks to you, I have everything I need right now." Well, _almost_ everything. Smirk. Or would that be rather every_one_? Anyway... "As for tomorrow, I want you to put the suit and the other clothes you brought into the...wardrobe over there."

As 'Tomo' hastened to comply, I was reminded of something else, another score I had yet to settle. "Ah, there is one other matter to take care of." An attractively attentive face turned towards me. "Please deal appropriately with the...people—" Idiots, rather. "—of the company that was contracted with the refurnishing of my office. Especially the abysmally intelligent person who decided that pink would be a good colour for the carpet. I want them fired."

Tomo's eyes had acquired a certain glint that did not bode well for anyone concerned with that particular disaster. Neither did his shark-like smile, nor his mutedly enthusiastic "_Hai_, Kiryuu-sama! I will take care of that immediately!". But then again, his...techniques of 'intimidation' had always been what other people might call pretty malicious, not to mention downright nasty and unpleasant when necessary. I would say he just attacks his target with a single-minded intensity of purpose that more often than not blinded him to possible outside influences and interference. On the plus side, however, he knew for certain how to follow orders. Well...at least the ones _I_ gave him. Just as it should be.

Smirking faintly, I watched Tomo gather his things, grab his briefcase and turn towards me. I was somewhat curious about what he would do to – or do with – the 'pink-carpet idiots'. "Keep me informed on the progress of...that matter. As for my discharge tomorrow, I will phone you about the details later today."

"Hai, Kiryuu-sama. Onegai shimasu." Tomo moved to the door and, facing me once more, bowed deeply, respectfully. "Mata ashita, Kiryuu-sama." The he left.

Finally. Finally I could turn my thoughts to where they had wanted to go all along. I had to force my mind away from my precious one for far too long now. It would have been not quite opportune if someone had caught me off-guard, daydreaming. That could be construed a weakness after all. And I would not be weak ever again. I also vowed to not let go of what was mine ever again.

"Kiryuu-sama, it is lunch-time," an overly genki voice ripped into my musings. What the—!? .......Oh. I watched a small, pert woman in a nurse's uniform bustle to and fro, quickly arranging a rather sumptuous meal on a tray she then put on the small moveable table near my bed. That in itself would have been tolerable – if that baka onna had only stopped in her incessant babbling. I really was not interested to hear talk of things inconsequential to me and the larger scheme of things. No, I tried to calm myself, you cannot kill her. Not here. It would ruin your reputation for certain. 'Maybe,' an insidious little voice in the back of my mind whispered. 'But at least you'd then have the peace and quiet you wanted.' ...............Get a grip!

The onna must have noticed my increasing agitation because she turned to face me, upped her smile by a million degrees and— "I hope you will enjoy your meal. Please call if you need anything else."

Or not. Sigh. If only she would _leave_ already! I was quickly approaching the point where I would seriously consider taking my chances.

"_Nurse Aikawa!_" A stern, authoritative voice interrupted. "_What_ are you still doing here? You are already way behind your schedule as it is. What _were_ you thinking?!" One look at the shame-faced girl told the Head Nurse that yes, indeed, the onna— "Or have you been thinking at all!?" Sighing, the older woman ushered a blessfully _silent_ nurse out. As she stood in the doorway, the Head Nurse turned, bowed respectfully and said, "I apologize for her...behaviour. Please forgive this overly enthusiastic nurse. She is still in training." With that said, the Head Nurse bowed again and left, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Maybe _now_ I could handle my matters in peace. ...After having lunch, of course.

A short while later, I pushed the tray-plus-table out of my way, setting it somewhere to the side where it would not disturb me. Then I pulled the files onto my lap. There weren't as many as I would have thought, only about a dozen. And of those files that Tomo had so thoughtfully put into separate folders, I would choose two, maybe three at most.

After an hour or so, I had gone through maybe half of the files Tomo had brought. The two most likely candidates I had already selected and set aside. But still... I had the nagging feeling that I would regret it if I did not look through the remaining files, too. And my instincts had never been wrong before. Just look at my suspicions back then, concerning Tamahome and me being bound together by destiny. Hm... Tamahome...bound.....chains...

Blink. Wait a moment. Why again was I interested in a bunch of trainees-to-be!? This was certainly _not_ the way I usually handled these things – so why _now_ of all times? Hn. The encounter with my violet-eyed beauty must have stirred my more than I had originally thought. Or... I quickly flipped through the bios in each file.

YES!!!

I knew it. I _knew_ it! There was absolutely _no_ doubt. It was clear as water and bright as the sun.

Under my growing smirk, the picture of a certain blue-haired boy with violet-grey eyes continued to smile, totally oblivious to my growing...tension.

) - ( ) - ( ) - ( ) - (

Somewhere in the ever-busy city, the former seishi of Suzaku, Tamahome, now more commonly known as Taka, shivered. If he didn't know better, he'd almost swear the violent chill he had felt running down his spine just now was an omen. A _bad_ omen. Of...horrible things to come. Soon...

) - ( ) - ( ) - ( ) - (

With my smirk still in place, I composed the letter of acceptance. I would have Tomo send them out to each of the selected trainees this evening or tomorrow at the latest. Oh, the days to come would certainly be...interesting. And with my Tamahome finally within my grasp once again... Smirk deepening, I pushed the 'send'-button that would bring the email on its way to my secretary.

I chuckled quietly as I closed my laptop, put it away and lay back. Who but me knew what would happen in the foreseeable future, what plans of mine would, hopefully, soon come to fruition. Really. What fascinating, exciting things I had set in motion...

-

Tsuzuki...err, **Tsuzuku**, I meant.


	7. Silence is golden

Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish. pauses Hey, I really _do_. I mean, wish that all those bishies were mine...((BG)) to do with as I please. VBG Hehehe... ((VBEG))

Notes: Well, what can I say? Reviews make the world go round, don't they. And as for this chapter... Its form was really a first for me. I never realized writing dialogue could be so...difficult. If 'someone' is about to enter the picture, another certain 'someone' will have to be removed first so that--((blush)) Well... ((walks away)) You know. ((whistling innocently)) Guess who's talking, BTW. And about what.

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**Not Letting Go**

by Hotaru Muraki

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_Chapter 7: Silence Is Golden_

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"Taka, who was at the door?"

"Just the mailman. Apart from bringing us our mail he wanted to apologize for not delivering your mail-order any sooner, this being the last house on his rounds, yadayadayada..."

"He better should!"

"...Why?"

"I've been waiting for those for _ages_! You know I'll need them when I'll go to that cooking-class/camp-thingie in France this summer."

"..."

"What!?"

"I still can't believe you actually won anything at all, let alone something like that."

"What? ...What are you mumbling about?"

"..." sweatdrops "...Nothing. I was just thinking how lucky you are to have won such a prize in the mall-lottery."

"Mhm. You're right, Taka. ... But you're lucky too, you know."

"Huh?"

"Yes, you are!"

"How so?"

"Just imagine all the wonderful French dishes I'll be able to cook for you. I'm sure I'll learn lots and lots of good recipes. Ah... I can hardly wait!"

"I can. ...erm, I mean...I.....what...I wanted to say is that I can....almost imagine it. Your dishes surely will be......spectacular."

"Really? ...Thank you! Tamahome _daisuki_!!"

"Uuuuaaaaargh!"

Crash.

Tumble.

Sound of bodies hitting the floor.

"Miaka, get off! You're he—"

"Heavy."

An evil, black aura appears.

"You wanted to say that I'm heavy, right?"

"NO!"

Frantic denial.

"You're _hearty_ today. That's what I wanted to say. Hontou ni!"

"Hontou ni?"

"Un."

"Hontou no hontou ni?"

"Un!"

"Hontou no hontou no ho—"

"...but this is hardly the right time and place to be saying such things, don't you think?"

"Oh."

"......."

"Gomen, Taka. I misunderstood. Can you forgive me? Please, Taka-darling?"

Big, teary eyes gaze imploringly at a rather dishevelled young man with dark-blue hair.

"Of course I forgive you, Miaka."

Sigh.

"Do you think you could get off of me _now_...?"

".......Oooops. Sure. Right away!"

Sweatdropping.

".................Thank you."

Blink.

"You're welcome."

"Ano ne,...... Miaka....."

"Naaaaa—ni, Tama-darling?"

„_Don't_ call me that!"

„But it's soooo cute!"

„I. Am. Not. Cute!! I—"

Deep sigh.

"Never mind. It's not that important anyway."

Sounds of rustling paper.

"Here's your mail."

"Thank you, Taka-dar—ehehehee..."

Embarrassed flush.

"Gomen. Thank you, _Taka_."

A fond smile appears on the young man's handsome face.

"You're welcome, Miaka."

Comfortable silence spreads between the two of them, only punctuated every now and then by the sound of paper being torn, another letter being opened.

"**_Yatta_**"

"Gyyaa——aah! Taka... Bikuri shita... Don't scare me like that..."

A hand is pressed onto a rapidly beating heart.

"What are you so happy about anyway? Whatever it is, I don't think it's worth jumping and shouting like that..."

Pout.

"So...what's gotten you so excited, hmm...?"

"....."

"Well...?"

Sigh.

"...It's a letter of acceptance."

"Ano... You've applied somewhere!?"

Headache-in-the-making.

"You remember when I told you about applying for an internship during summer break?"

".............."

"But you do remember that I told you I wanted to raise and earn some money? For our future?"

"....................."

"I guess not."

Major sweatdrop.

"Well, as I already told you before—"

Pointed glance.

"—I've applied for a general internship at Kiryuu Industries. And this letter says—"

"WHAT!?"

Long-suffering sigh.

"—that I've been accepted. It starts about three days after you leave for France."

"But...but... You can't do that!"

Blink.

Blink.

"Huh? ...Why not?"

Flustered silence.

"Well... erm....ah... ...I..I would _miss_ you!"

"Miaka... _You_ will be in _France_. For the _entire_ break, the whole summer long! So _how_ are _you_ going to miss _me_ if it's _you_ who'll be leaving in the first place!?"

"But I will!"

Sniffling.

Muffled almost-sobs.

"Besides, that company's rumoured to be rather ruthless in their business affairs. Maybe they're even connected to...'those' people."

"What do the Yakuz—"

Slender hand hastily clapped over the young man's mouth.

"Hush, Taka. Don't speak of...that. Someone might hear you."

Another long-suffering sigh.

"Miaka, _you_ started it."

Blink.

Blink.

"Did not!"

"Yes, you did."

"_Did not!!_"

"Miaka......."

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't opened that stupid letter! Is money all you ever think about?!"

Sobbing.

Stumbling to their feet.

Then a door is opens and slams shut again with enough force to rattle the pictures on the wall.

A young man slumps down, burying his face in his hands.

All of a sudden, he feels so very, very tired.

"Why me?!"

No one answers.

Now the apartment is silent again, empty. An apt analogy for the blank page of a future that has yet to be written.

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**_Tsuzuku_**

AN: AAAAaargh! I did it again!! keels over Why, oh why do the keys for 'i' and 'u' have to be so near each other!? crawls back up Anyway, this one is for you, Ish ( ).

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Reply to review(s):

Ish ( ): ((gasps for breath)) Thanks a lot. ((pats back)) Guess your semi-question was answered, ne? As for Nakago and Tamahome coming face to face... That one's having me on the edge of my seat, too. pauses Wait a sec! ((realization hits - hard))Wwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I'm the one who has to write that... ((runs off wailing))


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